i have not forgotten

things are better now.

http://ilhu.wordpress.com/
http://ilhu.wordpress.com/
http://ilhu.wordpress.com/
http://ilhu.wordpress.com/

sorry blogger
things change yet remain beautiful, always
stay gold
heather mutherfucking utah

heads up

i will be leaving cut cut cut / ilhu / my private selves soon.
things will consolidate elsewhere.
just bear with me while i figure out life, the universe, and everything.

if you want to know the address, please contact me.

i can tell that we are going to be friends

wherein our hero reveals her own personal secrets to happiness.

i have been told i am an unusually happy person
so what? it seems that misery is the accepted norm, a default obsession.
it has gone beyond habit straight past ritual and fetish into a full fledged emotional addiction.
this is going to sound crazy but,
sitting at home alone thinking about how lonely you are is not going to help you be less lonely.

am i special? NO.
i am the most mediocre, most boring, unimportant person i know and I AM TOTALLY OK WITH BEING UNIMPRESSIVE
being constantly judged, ignored, and ridiculed has made me oh so oblivious to everyone's negative attitudes, so much so that i save my cares for those i deem worthy enough to share owesome finds with
LIKE YOU!!!!!!
and despite being rejected on multiple occasions to art shows, having really bad hair, being sick for 5+ months, being terribly unmotivated and hating student art, the smallest things instil and crystallize happiness inside me for lingering.


+ find 1 activity that makes you happy and do it at often as possible. own it, expand it, and SHARE it

+ friends. really. even if you only have 1 person you know that you see on occasion, expand on that relationship with them. or make friends. 'oh i have no friends'. not cool, yo. if i can have friends, and charles manson can have friends, SO CAN YOU. already have one / some? LOVE THEM. the #1 thing that irks me most is when i hear / read about people who hate on their best friends, or fight with them. my very best one moved away and i would do *anything* to have them again. appreciate them, their time, and their loving energy, if only because i can't.

+ adventure. 'every day, do one thing that scares you'. roadtrip. get inspired, socially, personally, idealogically. strive to be the best human you can be.

+ normal things that everyone knows. eating lots of fruits and vegetables. not whining. not doing drugs or drinking alcohol, not being a douchebag, not killing animals. laughing at people slipping on ice patches, laughing at your selves when you stub your toes. really, i feel stupid writing this. use your brains. read books, watch less tv, play less video games, drink more water. misery is choice, as is happiness, you are responsible for your own lives.

:: small things that make days, that turn days into nights into loves ::




DUDE IT'S A LEG was someone really going to throw this out??



cigarette price board, with complete sets of numbers and mounting devices, yah!



reading. always a wise decision. pick your topic. boyd rice? prime example of a man LIVING HIS LIFE. learn from this, please?
please.
do not be afraid of yourselves.

when your actions are so inspirational
the motive is blurred through time and the realms of good and evil

what are the rules governing this?

while in presenting this project, i did divulge the meanings of certain symbols, but no one's names, real or aliased, were mentioned.

.badge.
i should be posting this in the other but i won't keep on top of my selves.



there is one missing from my stack. where did it go?
several bag checks reveal nothing.
so disappointed.

oak mot!

you are as sparkling as jon dore's eyes.
and i really love you.
for all the kittens out there - i am glad you are black and white
xoxoxogonzo

wherein our hero questions your authenticity

i can never think of anything intelligent / interesting to say
other than the negative to the negative of all else

hesitation and consequence
, an archival of failure





inspirations ::
BOYD RICE
andy warhol
anton newcombe
anton lavey
charles manson
claudia kishi
mollie sue
catherine lawrence
mark z danielewski
hoop girl [from ooooh so long ago. she haunts thoughts that cross years]
francis picabia
lovecraft ;;; springtime is lovecraft, with the discovery of underground lairs and crypto-everything.

all i can do is rebel the rebels, protest the protest



MY MOTHER SAID
TO GET THINGS DONE
YOU BETTER NOT MESS WITH MAJOR TOM

goodbye agamemnon

forget everything you knew about the will to conquer
forget everything you knew about the will to power
forget everything you knew about your selves

this is you infinite wisdom tooth / my last night in bed with you
[there are no words]

i'll have a new camera in a couple of weeks but until then
a salute to my 4 years with the beefiest cheesiest piece of glass encased in black plastic.