these dawg days of summer

am i trying too hard? i don't really know why i'm doing this - i'm not trying to prove anything, i just think i'm * funny * i don't know if i would call this art, but there is a level of creativity involved. i used to only ever write on ads because i was sick of being told what to see if only because some dude in an office somewhere paid enough money to expose me to whatever bullshit s/he is trying to sell me. anything from education to salvation to organ donation.
anything from why? to support our oppressors OH to MMMMMEAT.
also, 2 sleeps till school, i've got to get whatever is left of this sillyperson out of my before it's businesstime.







should i argue with luv?

play drawing

i finally got around to fetching my portfolio

sketch etc

haven't been terribly productive the past few days
sketchbook takes i've had on agamemnon for a while

accidnt

the first time i dropped furthur [i did it again with the film that's still in there, only this one is going to be worse, all thanks to the assholes on the bus who don't get out of the waaaaaay]






and another
and out



tonight i am assembling more ilhu flags. if i really am the queen of these alleys, tomorrow is the day i claim them.

surface underneath

i'm not much of a painter, i have no formal training in it whatsoever.  i refer it mainly as paintslinging,  it's an instantaneous access to colour that covers a lot of space.  these are each sketchbook drawings cut and collaged onto 5x7 dollarama canvas [3 for $1, oh yea!] 

paintslinglings always take me a while to complete because i like the mostly opaque layering effect that acrylique paint gives me and i never plan what i make, so i do something ie this and put it down for a while till i figure out what to do next.  

i would like more animalia on coccyx

another collaged image on vert

this one is my fave - i would like something fibrous added to this guy.

i am inspired by reqian textures.    and bones.  you're the [default] inspiration.

HISTology

2 arts in one day!

ink drawings of forms adapted from histology slides 

[found in a book from monastiraki for $6]

miscellaneous berry flesh

watercolour paper bound with wire and canvas

first attempts [you make everyday feel like kindergarten]

weird day,,,,,,,,,,,,continued

the feeling of uncomfort runs hot down my spine, like anger, only i well boiling tears of frustration and interior sadness.  time grates on me.  i knit instead.  this is only the beginning of my own pull.

here are some of my holga prints [looking hazy because i photographed the prints instead of scanning them] [because i haven't a scanner]]

cut at what was one once

were we there?  change in tangible photographs,,,,,,,i am so used to seeing my photos as dots of colour on a screen and now they are dots of colour on a paper in my hand on my wall.  i see the past differently, it feels much furthur away.  not 2008 anymore again.  1548.  1978, love was there.  carve away at the earth and reluctantly finish your [my] tasks.  life is futile, life is trying to stay business enough to distract you from the past and the things you [i] love most.  occupy yourselves [myselves] 

my selves, my elves.

КОНТРОЛ :: три

retema came home for lunch today and he took photos of me wearing control

go visit him and tell him what a flippin amazing photographer / all around dude he is

i love that i have been working on control for ~6 months and it is constantly reborn into something new in collaboration with another artist

everyday feels like kindergarten

i am knitting
i am collaging

i love that it doesn't even feel like work.

i am drawing

i love sharing what i do with another person who appreciates it as much as i

i am loving

everyday is new
i wear control and my age is spread out over my limbs and face
i am wearing everyday of my life
i feel old in my 21 years

i feel young in my life
there is always more to be done

flesh and light

i am alright with pain. i am alright with absence.
not so much with obsess or abscess.

three words

but this is not the place for that

metamorphosis

μεταμόρφωσις, "transformation, transforming", from μετα- (meta-), "change" + μορφή (morfe) "form"

i don't know how else to change, than to find a saturniidae corpse underneath the leaves.  it's body disintegrated by the time i returned to rat city, but luckily the wings were intact.  like a surgeon, slicing away at the rotting parts of the wings [the bugs had managed to get to it before i did], i felt like i was hurting it.  i replaced it's body and it's past with wire and other scrap metal.  trying to recreate the stages, trying not to cry.

the adventures continue - but i feel different now.  time hadn't bothered me before, but now i can feel it creeping.  i hadn't wanted that slow sadness to be felt yet.  

i am feeling repetitive, caught in revolutions instead of evolutions.  there is the chance to break out, but personally this distance is making me feel a little numb.  our days are numbered - when are they not?  i would much prefer to remain oblivious to that, i am far more appreciative in that way.

i would like them alone.  - we will though, we just have to wait.

wait.

i need to dry off a bit before i go one, even though there isn't really time for that.