Friday, January 9, 2009

Siphonophorgasm

01siphonophorgasm in progress

the latest, third, and final instalment of the jellys before they disperse to their new homes in various places around the globe. currently ~2 meters hanging from the ceiling, half a meter in circumference. needs more. siphonophorgasm.

from this, as i learned from the ever lovely other heather



Heather J- / heather utah
#######
Miscellaneous artist in training
6 january 2009

"What we cannot speak of we must pass over in silence." - Wittgenstein.

subconscious passive human longing comforting obsessive reflective text textiled tiled dominating digital analog imaginary real crafting spellcrafting multiple textured coloured needy incubating illuminating illuminati exposed free public private silent.

ILHU Scout Project


I propose to start a skill sharing secret society. the ilhu scouts, concerning the importance of individual strength as a part of a larger system. Like and unlike many other skill sharing organizations, the ilhu scouts aim to establish and maintain a private sphere surrounding the intimate act of creation. While my own creative background is largely self taught in needlepoint and other miscellaneous craft and artistic practices, I encourage proficient technicians to share their knowledge with a willing student. Despite my own emphasis on secrecy, scout members may choose to be public about their membership and are encouraged to recruit other like-minded people. It is my sincere desire to be a healthy, productive member of my community in the only way I know how. The ilhu scouts are dedicated to the solidity of individuals and individualism in order to solidify a community based on unique, ethical, and proactive beings.

The idea of a society as a small number of people sharing a very specific technical knowledge and passing onto an attentive audience is the 'secret" in secret society as the going-ons of the other members is largely unknown - it is my intention that the ilhu scouts will never assemble as a single unit. But as with the scouts, there are 'badges' that could be potentially earned should one choose to be an 'active' rather than 'passive' member. Active members recruit others to join the skill sharing network; as each member has their own particular strengths and secrets to be passed onto others to benefit. Another role that active members play in badge activities is to learn a new skill and in turn teach a fellow scout member, actively participating in the circular motion of creativity. Passive members are full members of the scout committee but may chose to or not teach another a skill but may participate in the creative process with another as an 'energy booster'. In my practice, I have found that i more productive with another person engaged in creation in the same room than i am alone. By working in pairs or in groups in no more than 4, crafters stimulate others while engaging themselves in other passive communal actions; dialogue, musical appreciation, laughter, or silence. Each badge is designed and made by heather utah and badge recipient. All badges and badge themes are negotiable as this list is based solely on the principles and skills of one person and may be expanded, changed, or specialized.

The non-exclusivity of membership ensures that any person regardless of spiritual, political, sexual, or cultural interests. I intend to create a group of people bound together by the love of the physical and psychological benefits of creative actions. In return, I only ask of the ilhu scouts to treat their fellow people with equal respect while engaging in virtual non-violent behavior to all forms of life, human, animal, and vegetal, and of all property. The scouts are to attend their specified workshops out of their own freewill and are in no way bound to the ilhu scouts. There is no hierarchical structure between active and passive scouts. Although i have started this group, i do not hold any more or less power to change or expand the scope of the group - in fact, the ilhu scouts may be incarnated differently with each scout pair and may share their own ideas as long as the actions contain no malevolent or negative intent. Materials are to be provided by the recipient crafter. If they are serious enough about learning and mastering a new skill they should be willing to invest supplies as well as energy into it.

Activities may include
craft skills
technical skills
language
music
cooking
outdoor activities

Subject to change in regards to the needs and abilities of the individual scouts.

Other themes include personal and cultural symbolism, the examined self, public and private space, community service, leadership, and craftsmanship.
The ilhu scouts are currently being conducted out of my own home, but workshops may take place in the homes of scouts and I am currently seeking a temporary space for public display.


Selected Sources of Research and Inspiration


Benjamin Walter. The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction.
http://iheartfbrs.pbwiki.com/The+Work+of+Art+in+the+Age+of+Mechanical+Reproduction

Bishop, Claire. Antagonism and Relational Aesthetics.
http://iheartfbrs.pbwiki.com/claire+bishop

Bourriaud, Nicolas. Relational Aesthetics. Les Presses du reel. 2002.

Girl Guides of Canada.
http://www.girlguides.ca/default1.asp?id=1179

The International Order of the Rainbow for Girls
http://www.gorainbow.org/home/home.taf

Kloosterman, Jaan. Secret Societies : A Very Short History. International Institute of Social History.
http://www.iisg.nl/collections/secretsocieties/index.php

Janoff, Reverend Callie. A Sermon. The Church of Craft.
http://churchofcraft.org/a-sermon-simple-and-captivating/

Jung, C G., ed. Man and His Symbols. Dell, New York: 1977.

Philips, Adam. On Kissing, Tickling, and Being Bored. Harvard University Press, Massachusetts: 1993.

Secret Men's Business
http://billykblog.blogspot.com/2006/09/starting-secret-society-part-7.html

Storr, Anthony. Solitude. Harper Collins, London, 1997.







planet earth is blue and there's nothing i can do.

Monday, January 5, 2009

what have you done lately?

inspired by boredom, cartoons, bad movies, and relational aesthetics [as interpreted badly by the author]

the crowd massed quickly on the corner of ste catherines and atwater
my fear ran thick in my throat, i could feel the acid wearing away.
it was cold and grey but not that cold then colder after about 30 mins.
my politic apathy and wild misunderstandings of religion took hold immediately.
death to ANYONE won't get my vote and i am amazed at the intolerance of other people, here! in canada! you give people the benefit of doubt that we are a 'safe' place to be - and we are constantly reminded that this is not the case. i felt that in the heat of an undying hatred and violence towards 2 very different yet fundamentally similar people, i had to placate their energy with my own apolitical activity.
there is no way i could expect anyone to know why i [we] did what we did - i don't even think i get the whole story but i am glad i did. in this serious, serious, world we just had to spend the sunday together doing what we both do best - CARPE DIEM.


the idea behind it all

and rufus truthfist

me being there, smirking even with awful slogans being yelled through megaphones and people carrying faux dead babies around, as if they know exactly what it must feel like to actually hold your dead and bleeding child

what have you done lately?

the trick : partnership is key if pulling off a stunt like this. always have your camera ready. smile a lot, it is confusing to an angry, somber crowd. keep moving especially if cold. don't try to blend in, people might mistake you for having chosen a particular, remain impartial at all times.

and remember : don't listen to a batshit thing anyone has to say about your actions. respect, tolerate. forget anyone who condemns anyone for political / spiritual direction. this is a world where all human life is respected equally. i would love to also say animal but unfortunately this is not the case. take responsibility for your actions throughout. direction is a CHOICE.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

when we were very young

youth i

when i was young i stayed home
collected stamps
and made up people named after fonts.

stamps i

Thursday, December 25, 2008

newness!

merry xxxmas, merry x-mass, happy yule!

very many new things on the ilhu ranch!  a change of traditions and wonderful things brought me a new computer [with open source photo editing software], and a brand new lens for Agamemnon!  he is now wearing a macro nikkor 60 mm 1:2.8 g ed that i am loving!  and with all new things, they take a lot of time getting used to.  i took some photos this morning and *tried* editing them with seashore.  ugh!  what a nightmare.  not that it is bad, but i am used to photoshop cs2 on a pc, and now i'm using this on a macbook.  weeeeird.  i'm having a lot of trouble finding the functions - like photo resize and i don't like the crop function.  it doesn't have nearly as many of the functions as photoshop but luckily i only ever play with size, colour, contrast, levels, curves [don't think seashore has levels/curves functions].  my recent additions to flickr are out of whack - none of them are the same ratio or size or anything, but i am trying.  please be patient with me.  here are some in full season regalia!


seashore filament i

seashore filament

seashore ii

i was so so so lucky to have retema come for a visit a few days ago [he is in mtl for only a few more days!!].  i took many many film photos in our historical desired condition.  we lived in the forest.  it is supposed to be this way.  he took a photo of me.


seashore

now that i have all this fancy dance equipment, i would love to update more often on my artistic endeavours.  i havent been unproductive - quite the opposite!  i have been crocheting like a mad woman, so there will be much more.  also i would like to set up my etsy shop and really start trying to do what i have been wanting.  these things take time, so it's time for a butt kicking!  flickr update :: pro account expires much too soon.  help me fuel this all!!!!

ass kickery commencing NOW!

Monday, December 15, 2008

i believe in the power of the new surprise

the next 48 were spent gonzo sewing and BRAIN BUSTERS and toys

i start 20million things before i finish them all at the same time

there is a surprise for them all but i wont say anything else
there was no knowing ANYTHING else

print finale
wherein i learn i am not cut out to pursue pure printing
:master printer: i say no thanks
i'll stick to being a maker of unique objects

imaginary cartographies
boiled down to simple shapes
i took the liberty of using print to explore different aspects of my art making
i used earthy tones [instead of my usual gaudy palette of rainbow psychosis] and minimal lines and shapes.
3 colour fuji plate print edition of 10
3 on 'good' paper
3 on silk organza
4 on green graph paper

imaginary cartographies

apocalyptic advertisement
3 months of working on stone and i still don't 'get' stone
there are certain imagistic fixations which will most likely haunt me for all my time - quetzacoatl may be one of them.
my aim this time was to make my inner violent conflicts a bit more ... obvious. working with a giant press is an act of limbo - maybe in limbo, a reaction to the equipment of how i felt at the time. low, high, low, high...there is solace in paint slinging on a print you are wholly dissatisfied with. red makes up for a +++
i was in the mood for something carnal, out of sorts, me but not me but more than me
apocalyptic advertisment

much time has passed since i felt any desire. so much of my selves lie in that end of the control arena. it is not so much a dissatisfaction as it is denial. i won't conform to circle/triangle/square if i really am a CONE.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

i cannot build an altar

after many days and nights spent it is, as of this past tuesday, finished.
i have learned that i cannot search for permanence in a place that is not mine.
the next step is to find my own place of isolation in which i can be free to drown in this cotton jelly.

truth : i had spent several days and nights inhabiting and working in this donated office space at concordia university. on many occasions i was mistaken for an mfa student, which i went along with.

in wallcotton and in wanting to be this in to give perspective

and so i spent these days and nights crafting small objects with my thoughts, at first in silence, finally to music. in that silence i became to aware of time and place in that world continuing to exist behind my self imposed isolation. i was able to know that at exactly 4:55 every afternoon, the vent would stop it's humming of recycled air. i knew that it was a saturday night when i heard the excessive noises of happy hockey fans [the VA is a block away from the bell centre].

in camoflage in smallness in bigness

i forgot what it was like to be in pain.

excerpts from the clubhouse logbook ::

sunday
"out the window i cannot see the street all i see is a parkinglot, a gas station concrete steel glass structures without history and no horizon only sky and some naked trees. on the west wall there is a crack btwn the windowledge and the wall - there is cold air there, it seeps in almost unnoticed but if you put your ear there you can hear it."

monday
"...always hiding! i am the girl who hides in the bathroom at parties which is why i never go to parties anymore...i feel as if this initial fear sabotages any chance i have at gaining social skills. but i don't want social skills, previous experiences and attempts have taught me to not bother. i choke when i speak...i find i am very boring. being in a crowd of more than 3 makes me nauseous and i lose my cool. so i just stopped trying."

"as happy as i want to be, i can't help but feel a tinge of sadness seep into everything i say and make and do. too often the words that come out of my mouth are 'uuuuuh i don't know'. get a know a no a gnome?...11 pm guard checks door...asks me if i'm ok...honestly, i didn't know how to answer the question"

wednesday
"yesterday was the first day in about 2 weeks that i have seen the sun...a foreign sensation, as if our / my eyes were not made to handle its existence...coming from a lover of clouds. always _______ [inadequate]. just when i get used to things, i pass them over in silence."

"6:17 :: z - and then e!...it was nice having another productive person in the room with me - there is energy there - feeding on positivity...it is easy to be lazy by my selves, but if someone else is here i feel the need to keep on making and feeding...mmm...yesterdai i left my fingernails on the shelf and today they are gone."

thursday
"sometimes it is hard to be happy november days, especially when...i have 'mike' stuck in my head...'sometimes i feel i'm not nice because it's hard for me to think something happy about you except for that dad, i love you, and i will always always miss you'"

saturday
"DON'T THINK"

tuesday
"yesterday's stupid action ended up being much more traumatic than i initially thought...i was the dumbest bitch on the planet, on the second floor landing, crying buckets...lesson fucking learned. a little cut up, and i am very angry with my selves. i am sick of the lazy person i've become"

wednesday
"can i believe it? i am in the clubhouse at 930? am?"

friday
"i am feeling really good...it is rain, it is night...is it love?...are they like me, so unsure of that outside world, willing to give it up for this solitude....i remember, not that long ago - even this summer, my dislike for my aloneness - walking, riding the train, seeing shows. something i was not ok with....i only cut 7 nails today, this night...should have taken that sideways sight slicing as an aura for my right eye failing me. just made the perfect jellyfish."

saturday
"fact : montreal is not open 24 hours though i always feel it hsould be"

tuesday [crit day]
hello hello hello it's over...that day. it is the storm before the calm before the storm"


in spending all those days and in flag

for anyone interested + in the greater montreal area, the installation is up till the 19th of december 2008. please message me if you would like to see it feel it touch it.

The Other Her