wherein our hero questions your authenticity

i can never think of anything intelligent / interesting to say
other than the negative to the negative of all else

hesitation and consequence
, an archival of failure





inspirations ::
BOYD RICE
andy warhol
anton newcombe
anton lavey
charles manson
claudia kishi
mollie sue
catherine lawrence
mark z danielewski
hoop girl [from ooooh so long ago. she haunts thoughts that cross years]
francis picabia
lovecraft ;;; springtime is lovecraft, with the discovery of underground lairs and crypto-everything.

all i can do is rebel the rebels, protest the protest



MY MOTHER SAID
TO GET THINGS DONE
YOU BETTER NOT MESS WITH MAJOR TOM

ripping the fabric of time

how do you
represent infinity in a finite space?
get really sick and make a quilt out of it.






i'm really quite terrible at sewing. [and printing, and knitting, and drawing, and everything.]
i never pin, i never measure.
everything is all wonk. just me & my rudeboi scout.
we never get things right.

only take these personality tests with a grain of salt and
'the white poem of self hate stays with you'.
i am excellent at being mediocre.

what i'm trying to say is
STAY GOLD.
and that was all there ws to stay.

update ::
an exercise in extraversion.
conversation w/ stranger + delivery of badge to rightful owner.
i walked back down to the melting, waxy streets and sang david bowie all the way to the hutch. i really enjoyed making badges. i will do more but with negatives, signature.

fun facts ::
the iapetus was an ancient ocean between the laurentia and baltic continents in the neoproterozoic and paleozoic eras. there lived trilobites, hydra, and turritopsis nutricula. thanks to transdifferentiation and some other really neat stuff, the hyrda and turritopsis nutricula are technically biologically immortal!


artist[s] unknown ::



thank you.

i am currently reading george eliot's 'middlemarch'. it is insanely long, i cannot imagine what it must have been like, writing it all out like that. but still, i find her psychological insights almost shocking. i read a lot on the metro, and sometimes i just hit a phrase in between all this dialogue that almost knocks me over. what are you reading? do you like it? any recommendations, should i ever get through all 8zillion amazing pages of this?

Etsy Buy Handmade satyrinae

cuts of nostalgia

one day this happened



change of plans.

too much 90s nostalgia? i feel as though my current life has resumed to it's routine of 5th grade freedom.
it is a return to the similar circadian rhythm i have left behind.
i remember the faling apart. it is a return to discipline and apple cores.
a return of 99 cent brocoli at the PA.
a return to the foxes and rabbits in our very back yard.
it is the inside jokes of building forts to keep away all the falling apart.
i have reached my 5th year of vegetarianism, my 11th year of seperatedness, an anniversary marked by the split of those someone very close to me.
baking cupcakes to soothe is the demeter inside.

i remember you and me used to spend the whole goddamn day in bed.

it is not falling apart, it is drying herbs in your kitchen and talking to the first years about hair.

it is love, but the endless distance is the beginning of difference.
i understand.

if the cell that holds me, breaks me....

nothing is finished but everything is in motion.
no matter how slightly, with my myriad of technical difficulties
nothing is going according to plan
i try to not let that stop me
but holy moses. coming home from the studio
IN TEARS
is not how i thought it was going to be.



i only printed 1.5 metres, but considering as it is a CMYK separation, i'm not beating my selves over the head with it.
the hexagonal outline reads

dont you ever ever ever trust my mercy

the mobius strip reads

if the cell that holds me, breaks me, it'll be hard to hold

i feel i should change the concept of this blog,
as it seems that everything i say or make
is my own visual representation
to the obsession
of other people's music
swimming in new directions

speaking of new directions



this has no direction, no concept, no reason. i am making them because i do not know how not to.

everything i have been thinking making or saying has been feeling very trite. there is only one way i can overcome these past 4 years, and i am very very afraid.

ouroboros // the mars volta

It appears to me
quoting alarms
guillotine smirks
In your house I smothered

Sight unseen
Sworn to harm
Ground to a powder
And soaked through the board

Don’t you ever, ever, ever trust my mercy
Don’t you ever, ever, ever trust my mercy

When will you flirt with all that’s burning
Keep them safe and by your side

Of all that’s left
A lucid home
Anecdote settles
In the smear of this corpse

If the larvae speaks
Ask where to go
They mount the maker
With a sulphur in fume

Don’t you ever, ever, ever trust my mercy
Don’t you ever, ever, ever trust my mercy

When will you flirt with all that’s burning
Keep them safe and by your side

Of all the warnings that you gave me
With all components in the fault

Have you ever heard me scraping it will be hard to hold

Don’t you ever, ever, ever trust my mercy
Don’t you ever, ever, ever trust my mercy

When will you flirt with all that’s burning
Keep them safe and by your side

Of all the warnings that you gave me
With all components in the fault

Have you ever heard me scraping it will be hard to hold

All I hear mending the gap
fall in here might not make it back
Call that someone may they hear you
Take me with you It’s not safe in here

And all you ask is why, why, why
And all you ask is why I’m certain
you’re holding on
mirror floats to the surface [holding on]

Of all the warnings that you gave me
With all components in the fault

Have you ever heard me scraping it will be hard to hold

Of all the warnings that you gave me
With all components in the fault

Have you ever heard me scraping it will be hard to hold

They lost the presence they were holding
Looks like the tenants flickered off
If the cell that holds me breaks me
It’ll be hard to hold

i believe in the power of the new surprise

the next 48 were spent gonzo sewing and BRAIN BUSTERS and toys

i start 20million things before i finish them all at the same time

there is a surprise for them all but i wont say anything else
there was no knowing ANYTHING else

print finale
wherein i learn i am not cut out to pursue pure printing
:master printer: i say no thanks
i'll stick to being a maker of unique objects

imaginary cartographies
boiled down to simple shapes
i took the liberty of using print to explore different aspects of my art making
i used earthy tones [instead of my usual gaudy palette of rainbow psychosis] and minimal lines and shapes.
3 colour fuji plate print edition of 10
3 on 'good' paper
3 on silk organza
4 on green graph paper



apocalyptic advertisement
3 months of working on stone and i still don't 'get' stone
there are certain imagistic fixations which will most likely haunt me for all my time - quetzacoatl may be one of them.
my aim this time was to make my inner violent conflicts a bit more ... obvious. working with a giant press is an act of limbo - maybe in limbo, a reaction to the equipment of how i felt at the time. low, high, low, high...there is solace in paint slinging on a print you are wholly dissatisfied with. red makes up for a +++
i was in the mood for something carnal, out of sorts, me but not me but more than me


much time has passed since i felt any desire. so much of my selves lie in that end of the control arena. it is not so much a dissatisfaction as it is denial. i won't conform to circle/triangle/square if i really am a CONE.

Catching UP

Here are some past fibre works!


control - 2008

knitting a row for every day i'm alive [changing colour every month]





the rabbits - 2008

2 magical rabbits go on a journey in northern quebec to find their roots.





OBM panel - group project to bring comfort to the mission! - 2007

world view of the arctic ocean etc



embroidery - 2007

experimenting with film negatives







self portrait / transformation - 2007
this print is a mess but so am i
black saturn / white e.coli / blue and yellow foxes & rabbits



block printed 3m of green cotton transformed into dichotomized cloud pillows [atom / nebula - nimbus / water drop not shown]

electron cloud



nebula



is that it?? ibasketry samples are due tomorrow and i haven't really been keeping up - i've been far too focused on por::ffav and on twining a million little jellyfish. yesterday i got called out as a hipster - the truth really does hurt, i will try to be as nonchalant as possible from now on [she says as she eats her sushi] dammit. maybe i'll just go grab a spot of tea [dammit] ok maybe have a [vanilla] cigarillo? [dammit] nope. once hipped cannot be unhipped.

am i the only one who likes to pretend to be other people for a day? it's a lot like going on mini - adventures in your own life.

tomorrow is the big day. wish me luck!!!

pieces of resistance :: flags for a vengeance act I

flags for a vengeance!

so yesterday i started the assembly for print & dye final. i am looking forward to a public piece.
i'm thinking of detailing the backgrounds of the bus, and possibly squaring the prints to make it easier. in any case assembly is a cinch, i need to get better at printing.



and spending hours in studio means watching the sunset, and more importantly, the moon RISE



in search of third eye
something always rises from
the ashes of distress