three words

but this is not the place for that

metamorphosis

μεταμόρφωσις, "transformation, transforming", from μετα- (meta-), "change" + μορφή (morfe) "form"

i don't know how else to change, than to find a saturniidae corpse underneath the leaves.  it's body disintegrated by the time i returned to rat city, but luckily the wings were intact.  like a surgeon, slicing away at the rotting parts of the wings [the bugs had managed to get to it before i did], i felt like i was hurting it.  i replaced it's body and it's past with wire and other scrap metal.  trying to recreate the stages, trying not to cry.

the adventures continue - but i feel different now.  time hadn't bothered me before, but now i can feel it creeping.  i hadn't wanted that slow sadness to be felt yet.  

i am feeling repetitive, caught in revolutions instead of evolutions.  there is the chance to break out, but personally this distance is making me feel a little numb.  our days are numbered - when are they not?  i would much prefer to remain oblivious to that, i am far more appreciative in that way.

i would like them alone.  - we will though, we just have to wait.

wait.

i need to dry off a bit before i go one, even though there isn't really time for that.